Ok Ok Ok… I know that your taken back by the title, but I have a theory. We see the captain “disappear” many times a shift (mostly during busy times on the weekend). We can also see the captain, shirt untucked, tie in disarray, and pants lopsided. Is it safe to put two and two together and ASSUME that he is masterbating at work??? Seeing hundreds of “little” kids run through his theater must make him “Happy?” many times through the course of his unproductive shift. One would have to assume that he is panking the johnson at work! I leave this open to discuss…

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